9-o-five in the morning. My class supposedly starts at 3 pm today but since our group held the meeting at exactly 8 in the morning, off I went to school 2 hours advance (I'm from Cavite, duh?) the call time.

Gone ballistic at around 7:30am upon knowing that the meeting was moved to 10. WTF?! Nice way to compensate 4 hours of disturbed sleep bitches. Seriously, I can't seem to find the right words to describe what I'm feeling right now. I feel faint.

I'm in my school's e-lib, typing my thoughts away (awaaaay). I might pass any time now. Please make yourself productive this time, monitor my wristwatch.

. . . . .

Oh well, never mind.

The second hand just stopped.

Sleep deprivation's a status quo. However, my load's been lightened by two steps somehow by surpassing Dante's 9th circle of hell. Sembreak's nearing, question is: Is it within my grasp?

What I've done (for the past few weeks):

I'm back to my sane self now. I couldn't believe at first that I'm suffering from tremendous mood swings, personality change, LIGHT HEADEDNESS (On a high by Dunkan Sheik playing here, lol), yada yada for the past few days (right after being hospitalized, yo). Yup guys, you heard it right. I'm actually suffering mood swings, TREMENDOUS mood swings, lately; and of course I'm literally on a high (that explains my having a world of my own lately) during those times, no seriously. Thanks to high dosages of Metronidazole, Ciprofloxacin, and Maalox, the doctor had prescribed to me (think 500g of metronidazole & maalox, 3x a day for 5 days and 1000g of Ciprofloxacin 1x a day for 5 days)--Boy, I'm getting nuts. It is just then that I've realized what ACTUALLY did happened. Just right after I've experienced going to school, again. Shoot there! Imagine, losing your trail of thought for 5 days. Grabe lang.

Now, I'm back. Medications have stopped, and I've missed out a lot lately. Most esp. on PHC-1 and RLE . shoot shoot shoot! It is just then that I've realized that what I've done in my health history is a total failure (I'm doomed). It is just yesterday that I've learned how to do the PROPER WAY of doing such paper works (Health history, norms & standards, blah blah).


Don't worry guys, I'm ok now.
I just need to embrace TIME MANAGEMENT properly.
(For Nursing students out there, I tell you; my health perception and coping & stress mechanisms have totally transformed ;p)
I'll be inactive for a while. Bye.
:)

Dang there, what a post! Did you just see what I've written earlier? haha! I sounded like a total klutz! Well anyway, pardon me for being emotional there. I'm just having problems with myself ever since I got out of the hospital. I've been very very very moody ever since. I never thought I'll unearth my personal issues (course) here. It has been an issue of a lifetime for me, if you'll ask.



And I guess I'm back to my sane self now. Or so I thought?



ANYWAYS, I talked with Nat a while ago about my "sentiments" with my shifting courses. Don't I just miss the guy? He's been my HS friend and for the 411 people, he always know how much I wanted to be a CA student. Nostalgia man. He got the chance to follow his heart though, and I got left behind with my "nursing" career. haha! But it's alright, I told you I'm ok now. lol I just hope that he'll be successful in the future. As for me, I hope I'll be able to survive, what, everything?! haha! And oh, I also remember the times when we used to jam everyday in school. I rarely hold the guitar now. I miss highschool, I surprisingly missed them.


A lot has happened recently, and this is one of the worst I've ever been because I've missed a lot of requirements. On the bright side, this whole hospitalization scene has also done me good. I got the chance to relate all our lessons with the "real thing", haha! No really, it is just then that I've realized the connection in all the nursing process, NCP's, return demonstrations, blah blah. And I'm taking this as an advantage in our class, seriously. xp On the brighter side, I got the chance to bond with my HS friends, my family, my bf, and I got the chance to rediscover myself again. Lastly on the brightest side, I got all the rest I once wanted. Phew. :] I miss my college friends already. I can't wait to see them tomorrow. ;]



Can you just hear the happy tone of this post?
I told you I was PMSing. ;]


[EDIT 09/12/08]
I thought I was (PMSing, that is), but boy I'm not. xp
Read my latest post.

I’ll blog today. No one can stop me, no not anatomy; not even RLE.
I’m breaking the rules today.



I’m currently listening to my Taken by Cars CD; deciphering every word of it. I just realized that it’s been so long since I bought this from AA. But still I fail to open its inlay (except for the times when I’m making a movie presentation on history) because of my hectic sched.



Contrary to Marilyn Manson’s, “I don’t like the drugs (but the drugs like me)”; I can say that I love Nursing; it’s just Nursing who don’t love me back.



This whole hospitalization thing has prompted me to stay and rest for weeks now. And I’ve been doing good since the first day I caught the fever (right after my physical assessment return demonstration, health history, etc.) that triggered the hiding typhoid in me. If you’re a nursing student, you’ll probably know that my coping and stress mechanisms are oh-so-low. Or is it just the nursing demands that are killing me. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s just me who’s really not for nursing.

During my confinement, surprisingly, my mother has told me that she’s been seeing me as an artist ever since. According to her, art has really been my forte and it’s just whoever (my father and aunts) who forces me to take up nursing. Although, I can say, that I’m also doing good on the academics, most preferably the sciences; I can tell that the right hemisphere of my brain is better than the left. She really wants me to take up multimedia arts or communication arts, my dream course. The course I’ve purposely chose to betray before. The course I’ve been wanting and dying to live in, but purposely chose to betray before. The course I’ve passed on my dream university, but purposely chose to betray before. The course I’ve fought for, but purposely chose to betray before. The course I’ve fought for, and won over, but purposely chose to betray before.

It saddens me to know, that it’s just now that I’ve realized that I’m not happy with my nursing life. That I thought I was, but I never were. Two years have passed when I cast the verdict of taking up nursing as my career. And for the past two years, I still haven’t met anyone in our school who share the same interests with me. It saddens me to know, that it is just now that myself has been unravelling itself to me, again. It saddens me to know, that I’ve lost myself; that the real Ayee in me has been long forgotten because of the nursing prerequisites. Sir Meal’s (my literature professor) right, we’re being trained as robots. It’s as if I was the teacher on, "Why the English Teacher died on Christmas Day"—I’m on a struggle. A man vs. man conflict in which no one wants to get involved with. It saddens me to know, that I still don’t have the guts to shift courses. Here I go disappointing myself for the nth time. Time flies when you’re in my shoes. I just hope this won’t happen to you.



I’ll be back schooling tomorrow, and as expected; I’ll be back to my old routine. I still don’t know when I will be back to my sane self though. How I wish its sembreak already.




The hospital is my happy place; but not as a nurse.


[EDIT.]
I'm ok now, I just need to vent this all out of my system. Pardon me, I've haven't fully recovered from my amoebiasis yet.

Just came back from the hospital, omg. omg. Got lots of good things to say here, but i can't seem to find the right time to do it before~darn eight. Ok so since I've missed 5 days of my oh-so-precious classes, 3 midterm exams, hours to do piles and piles of paper works, imaginary numbers of quizzes, seatworks and whatnots; a little blogging won't hurt I guess, yes? Yes.

Ok so, the main culprit for my being hospitalized (for the first time, note there) is the three-lettered shit spelled as R.L.E.

Courtesy to non-med readers who are reading this right now, chances of you not knowing what Related Learning Experience a.k.a. RLE are quiet high, so I'll tell you not to mind it anymore cause I'm pretty sure you don't wanna go see hell yet, not now, don't you?

So yeah, I was saying that RLE triggered the typhoid cells in me to sprung out of their system (I'm quiet a fan of R.Papa foods kasi, haha) and give me viola- thypoid fever, tonsilitis, & amoeba bacteria. That bitch! :P

Anyway, I just saw in MTV (for the love of God, its been weeks/months since I last got hold of the remote control, thanks RLE you're so effing great) that Sugarfree got a new song! Wooo, it simply means that they already have their 4th album lurking around, omg omg! I'll grab a copy of their new album as soon as I confirm it. Stupid me for not knowing this, its as if committing blasphemy.



Didn't mean to sound like a dumbass here, i'll do better next time.

EDIT.
This is one crappy post, i know.